Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia

Patience, ah, patience.


Mom: “What time are we leaving?”

Me: “7pm”

Mom: “What time are we leaving?”

Me: “7pm”

And, five minutes later, “What time are we leaving?”

At some point, it gets a lot more challenging not to have that tone creep into your voice.  That tone that says, I have told you for the fourth time!  Some days, a certain tone is definitely in my voice.  A tone that says, are you kidding me?!  Stop!  I cannot do this.

Patience has never been my strongest trait.  I would describe myself as a rather impatient person, one who reads books quickly to get to the end.  So dementia has been a test, and one that I too often recognize that I am failing.  I strive for patience and yet so often it feels impossible.  And some days I hardly want to try.

On the good days though I reflect that I am building some patience muscles.  Perhaps it will pay off one day!


Author: notquitetheplan

I am a mid-30s single girl, trying to climb the ladder, get a date... and make sure Mom takes her meds. It's not where I expected to be. But it's where I am and this blog is about embracing that.

8 thoughts on “Patience, ah, patience.

  1. Plan to try: whenever you tell her something, immediately forget that you’ve told her (or pretend that is the case)

  2. My morning conversation with my husband was identical to yours with your mom. And I am the most impatient person in the world, but the good news is that five minutes later he forgets that I got impatient. Your mother probably does too. So no need to feel guilty.

  3. Growing patience muscles: what a terrific way to look at it. Just think how you will have perfected that trait by the end of the disease journey.

  4. You are only human. You will make mistakes. Forgive yourself.

  5. Know that feeling! 😦 It is like water torture sometimes…

  6. I understand growing those patience muscles. I read an article recently, if I find it soon, I will send you a link. It talked about why a person with dementia may ask the same question a million times; beyond the fact that they may have forgotten they asked. But said that they may have a discomfort about what is going on. That they may not be asking because they actually “forgot” but because they have an unease.The article suggested, if you give an answer like, “Not for a while yet, I will let you know when it’s time to get ready.” or something a long those lines it might lessen their unease.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s