Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia

Yet more caregiver drama.


Yesterday I wrote a whole post about the difficulty of finding a good paid caregiver.

I woke up today to hand over to the caregiver on my way to work.  At 30 minutes past her arrival time, I called the agency.  When the agency called, she indicated that she was not coming in at all!

The timing is too funny.  Perhaps I should be careful what I complain about here…


Author: notquitetheplan

I am a mid-30s single girl, trying to climb the ladder, get a date... and make sure Mom takes her meds. It's not where I expected to be. But it's where I am and this blog is about embracing that.

4 thoughts on “Yet more caregiver drama.

  1. That seems plain rude and unprofessional, I would think a phone call on the agencies part is called for? I’m sorry for the difficult start to your day. I hope it got better. Hang it there.

  2. That is so awful. I am so sorry you are going through this! It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear things like that. I don’t know where you are located but I have a few things that might be able to help! Email me at and I’ll write you a more detailed e-mail!

  3. That a caregiver would not show up is unusual. Never had that happen in the nine years of my mother living with me. In fact for most of those years we had one caregiver and she still visits my mother in the nursing home just because she cares. But often my mother told me she disliked her. My mother much preferred a previous caregiver who paid her a lot of superficial attention but was far less competent at actual care–and we were dealing with basic things like diapers and nutrition. I found that a lot of the time the best caregivers our agency sent were women from Africa who were frankly over-qualified. I learned to appreciate that the work may seem easy but, at least in my mother’s case, can be incredibly draining emotionally and physically. But finding the balance of personal connection and professionalism is really tricky. It sounds to me as if your problem may be the agency itself. A well run agency makes a huge difference. But the most important thing is to go with your gut instinct. IF you are uncomfortable with someone, dump her immediately. I wish you luck. It can be so difficult….

    • I appreciate your comment to dump someone immediately if my gut tells me they are not right! I have finally concluded the same — the no show from the other day had consistently felt wrong. I have an email drafted in my outbox to send asking for her to be changed for someone else that I hesitated to send. Not going to make this mistake again…

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