Mom doesn’t remember things tomorrow anymore. Tonight I laid next to her in bed for a while, watching Dances with Wolves, one of her favorite movies. We struggled a bit with the subtitles but she was enjoying herself. She thanked me for hanging out.
And then she looked over and said, I won’t remember this tomorrow. Mom is right of course. She won’t.
I think about that when I make time to do happy or fun things with Mom. Does it matter when she will not remember? Who am I doing it for? Does it matter that I make time to have quality time with her with a certain frequency, or does it not matter as much when you forget the next day?
Regardless of whether she remembers the next day, I make time. Connecting with Mom and making her laugh is a regular priority for me. I cannot make the time as often as I might like to lie around making silly jokes about a movie together, but I also know that these memories matter to me. And in the moment, I know it matters to Mom.
Not quite the plan 
October 14, 2014 at 7:29 am
“Living in the moment” can have its advantages for all of us.
October 14, 2014 at 9:27 am
While she may not cognitively remember, it will resonate in her soul…that’s all that matters…she’s so blessed to have you as a daughter and caregiver. 🙂
October 14, 2014 at 10:18 am
Time spent in the presence of someone you love who is slowly disappearing is ALWAYS worth it. You benefit from doing “normal” activities with her. If patients in a coma can hear what someone is saying at their bedside, I’m CONVINCED your conscious mother understands and benefits from your moments with her. Does she understand every detail and nuance of your moments?
Does it matter?
October 14, 2014 at 3:25 pm
Hope you don’t mind but I referenced your post in writing about memory and mood today…
October 18, 2014 at 11:06 am
So very touching and insightful. Thank you for sharing!
October 18, 2014 at 12:59 pm
Reblogged this on forget me not unltd and commented:
A very touching post from a young woman caring for her mother with dementia. This blog chronicles their time together with a loving and sometimes humorous voice.
October 19, 2014 at 11:44 am
I can picture you and your mother, hanging out, watching a movie, talking and laughing. As you said, she may not remember it tomorrow, but she is enjoying the moment. And so are you. These memories will stay with you and bring a smile to your face when she’s gone. God Bless you for loving your mother so much.