Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia

Dressing for breakfast.


The other weekend, I heard Mom up early and stumbled out of bed to go make her breakfast. Downstairs I went in what I had been sleeping in– some awesome yoga pants covered with animal prints that a good friend of mine gave me several years ago, bare feet and a tank top.

So I started making us pancakes and Mom looked at me and pointed out that I was probably cold. She gets cold easily and to be fair, the winter has been serious lately. But I don’t get cold easily especially since we turn up the heat a lot for Mom. I was cheerfully making my pancakes.

Five minutes later, Mom tried again. She pointed out that I might want to cover up. Her next line was not terribly articulate but seemed to be a comment about women that I took as meaning that I was not appropriately dressed in my tank top. Perish the thought that I should not have done my hair and put on a coordinated outfit before making pancakes for the family!

A moment later she brought up the cold again. This point was not to be dropped.

Silly as it felt to have Mom telling me repeatedly to go get some clothes on, I could not help but appreciate that she still worries about me. It’s her way of continuing to mother me, at least in certain moments. What kind of mother lets her daughter wander about in tank tops and bare feet in the middle of winter?


Author: notquitetheplan

I am a mid-30s single girl, trying to climb the ladder, get a date... and make sure Mom takes her meds. It's not where I expected to be. But it's where I am and this blog is about embracing that.

3 thoughts on “Dressing for breakfast.

  1. Any kind of position attention is a good thing. It looks as though you’ve got that figured out.

  2. I have been reading your blog all morning. I am in a similar situation, although mum has now had to go into care, so I am completely in awe of you for managing to keep your mum at home. Whenever we go out anywhere, mum is always worried about whether I have a coat and enough money, It is very sweet and completely agree that it means so much that they still care about us.
    The jigsaw blog also resonated with me. I tried to do a few simple jigsaws with mum. When you realise that ‘straight edge’ means nothing to them, it is hard to take.
    Great blog, thank you for sharing your experience.

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