Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia

I follow her.


So Mom and I had her admissions interview at the facility this morning.  Is this how parents feel at their children’s school assessments?  It was a weird anxiety to present her well, make sure they saw how lovely she is. 

Happily, Mom did great.  She failed miserably to answer lots of the questions to test her cognitive skills– but her personality came through. She was pleasant, happy, connected with the admissions person and even made a joke.  I sat feeling like a proud momma. 

But my favorite moment was when Mom was asked who I was.  What was my name, or our relationship?  She struggled.  She knew it was an important question.  Finally, she figured out the answer:  “I follow her.”

Somehow I loved that response.  It was not that I am her daughter or sister or friend, all terms that she has used.  Not my name though she knows it most of the time.  But a real description of our relationship these days. 

Once I followed Mom.  Now Mom follows me. 


Author: notquitetheplan

I am a mid-30s single girl, trying to climb the ladder, get a date... and make sure Mom takes her meds. It's not where I expected to be. But it's where I am and this blog is about embracing that.

6 thoughts on “I follow her.

  1. What a precious commentary. You’re doing well; it’s great that she’s chosen you to follow.

  2. This brought tears to my eyes – so beautiful and poignant. I love your relationship.

  3. My heart broke. Big hugs to both you and your mom.

  4. I also can relate. When we would go to her neurologist or her primary, she would always look at me for the answers. I remember her stating, “She knows all the answers!” I also remember her doctor, who was also mine asking who I was. A few times she said, “My mother”, but usually she just knew that she knew me, that girl. This post got me teary.

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