Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia


4 Comments

My husband?

For my friends who read this blog, let me start by clarifying that I have not recently acquired a husband.

Yet, in Mom’s mind, some days I have.  There is a guy friend of mine who has been coming around to dinner on occasion for quite some time so Mom has gotten to know him rather well over the past years living with me.  He and I  have recently started dating under Mom’s observation.  Just barely into our dating phase, Mom was talking to me one day and mentioned something about my husband.

Husband?!

After a moment of conversation it became clear who she was referring to and that there was no way of correcting this particular confusion.   Mom has been despairing of  finding me a good guy and is satisfied with this one.  Some days Mom seems to think we have babies as well; yesterday she asked me the name of my baby boy.  I guess wishful thinking gets especially interesting when one has dementia!

So when NotHusband came over to dinner a few weeks ago, still before even some kind of relationship defining conversation, I had to explain to him as we walked up to the house that Mom had defined our relationship for us.  I warned him of his new role or roles in my life and that Mom might be using some loaded terms to describe us.  It might be at the top of the list of most awkward conversations ever.  NotHusband asked if he had missed the invitation to his wedding.  As I said, most awkward conversation ever.

Both of my parents had a tendency toward the match-making, but this takes it to a whole new level.  Mom always used to joke that she would do a better job picking out my husband and I guess at this stage she is simply done with giving me the chance to do it myself.

 

 

Advertisements