Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia



In college, a professor shared the sentence with us, “the way you do anything is the way you do everything.”
For some reason this concept flits through my mind constantly.  Is it true?  For some people?  Or do all of us have inconsistencies?

My mother tended toward the consistent, proving this sentence more often than not.  She was always organized, always capable, always classy, always thorough.  I am still quite capable of exhausting myself trying- always unsuccessfully- to live up to her standard.  

Most of those qualities that most defined her for so many years are gone now.  I sometimes have to remind myself that just a couple of years ago, she was the most together person I knew.  The memory fades as I assist her with increasingly basic tasks.

But this morning, I watched her pull a large bottle of orange juice out of the refrigerator.  Mom stood there with the juice, fully focused on shaking it.  It was a lengthy, thorough job.  And in that moment, Mom was fully her competent, thorough self.  That juice was properly shaken.

It is a funny thing to have noticed.  I cannot believe that I am sitting here hours later writing a blog post about a second in the kitchen making breakfast.  But it was a moment of glimpsing Mom’s quintessential nature.  And it was good to see her.