Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia



So I have noticed a disturbing trend over the past week or two of everyone talking about Mom in front of her.  And she feels it.  She has made a couple of comments that indicate that she is feeling dismissed or disrespected.  

Today, I had to rush off on her for a work meeting and she made a comment that she was just trash.  That one really made me sad because I think Mom has legitimate cause to feel that she is being brushed aside or not taken seriously sometimes. 

To be fair to all of us, it is difficult.  Mom communicates a lot less.  She does not have a lot of insight into her dementia or her medical history and will not be the person taking the follow up steps.  So some of these conversations have to happen around her.  Or it can be more efficient that way and especially when interacting with doctors that seems to be their preference.  But, not so long ago, Mom was consistently the most together and capable person in any group.  She feels the difference in how people treat her.

I struggle with how to keep Mom feeling respected for her life and experience while being realistic about her current  capabilities.  I should try to make more of a point to ask her opinion or defer to her where I can.  Showing her love is a part but she needs to feel respected, included, and heard too.