Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia


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Mom and the children of the world.

Mom loves kids.  I mean, she absolutely loves kids.  Anytime we see a child or baby when we are out running errands, she stops everything to say hello, chat, admire them.  It’s lovely.

We were shopping in Ikea recently and I got highly distracted with the question of whether I was finding the 27 parts that seemed to be required to build the particular shelving unit that I wanted.  I looked up to find Mom happily chatting with a rather adorable 7 year old down the aisle.  Mom was channeling her inner school teacher — she taught elementary school for about a decade before having me.   It was quite sweet.  Mom was using our tiny Ikea pencil to write the little girl a report card giving her all As.   The girl’s father and I hovered, carefully watching the two of them.

It makes me happy when I see kids bring out this kind of happiness in her.  It also breaks my heart that she will not be around, at least not in a high functioning way, to be a part of my children’s lives, if I ever have them.  Mom recently told me out of the blue that she would like to open a day care in our house.  It was a brilliant idea for who she is at core, and yet not an idea that is possible anymore.   A more functioning version of her would have loved that.  And she would have been wonderful at it.

In the meantime, it always gives me a moment of joy when I see a child in our path these days.  I know that the minute of saying hi to them will make Mom’s day that much brighter.  I wonder whether the families we encounter have any idea of the joy they are bringing.