Not quite the plan

on finding my groove as a 30 something single girl and caregiver for mom with dementia

About me and my Mom

This blog is about the daily struggles and embracing my life with Mom.  It’s a life that partially happened to me and partially is the result of my choices and values.

I am single, childless, urban and in my thirties.  I live with my Mom who has dementia, still relatively moderate stage though that is enough to make life plenty complicated for both of us.  When Dad died, I stopped and reflected on my values in a deep way and made the choice to do the best that I could for her.  It was not the easiest choice but it was my mine.

My Mom was a formidable woman but possibly her greatest skill was maintaining positivity.  She trained herself over her life to look on the bright side, find the humor, focus on the positive.  Now, I appreciate this quality so deeply as I see her do this even in painful moments.  She tried to impart that to me.  Now, I have plenty of opportunity to put positivity into action every day, if not every hour, with her.  Sometimes it works.


13 thoughts on “About me and my Mom

  1. Best of luck to you! And thanks for checking out my blog. This is a hard road to travel and we all need to help each other along, jolly one another when we need it, offer shoulders and support.

  2. Am I missing your “follow this blog” button? It’s probably right out there in the open, but I’m not seeing it. Oh, boy, is it going to be one of THOSE days? 😉 Anyway, I’d very much like to follow you. (In a totally non-creepy, un-stalking sort of way.) Thanks.

  3. Thanks! I cannot believe how much it’s helped my feelings about all of this from just beginning to look at blogs of others going through this. I just added a follow button on the main page — let me know if you cannot find it!

  4. Wishing you strength and satisfaction in your choice. It’s not easy, but nothing in life that’s worthwhile ever is. Always remember to put your own needs first. Without your health, everything falls apart. Take good care and I hope your holidays are happy!

  5. Been there, done that. Wishing you the best.

  6. Your mom and my mom would get on famously. While taking care of my dad with dementia for years, then dealing with his death and only six months later being diagnosed with colon cancer, she has always maintained her positive attitude and always tries to make everyone laugh. I’m the exact opposite (I prefer the term realist to pessimist) but even I have to admit that my mom’s positive outlook played a major role in her recovery from a near-death situation.

    I look forward to reading more of your blog posts.

  7. The caregiver’s journey is a difficult one. You are my definition of a hero: Ordinary people, doing the ordinary right thing, at an extraordinary time. You are a hero to many. You are a hero to me.

  8. I commend you for taking care of your mother and sharing your story. I hope the blog community can be a comfort and sounding board.

  9. Hello, I’ve just nominated you for the “Very Inspiring Blogger Award”:

    I’ve really enjoyed your posts so far, and I hope you’re just taking a brief respite this summer. Thank you!

  10. On the first page of my book “What to Do about Mama?” I said, “Baby boomers are on the precipice—getting ready to fall off and land firmly on the backs of our children’s generation. And they are so young! They are, after all, our children!” That would be you. Though I don’t know you, I want to thank you for the love and commitment you are giving your mother. You will have a long road ahead, which will continue to form you as a person. I’m thinking you will grow to become even more beautiful. Thank you for following my blog. I hope that you can gain insights from the club of caregiving bloggers, many of whom have made comments above.

  11. I love your blog….the words dementia and caregiver have become two recent additions to my lexicon (although not used with my mom), and I find so much strength, courage, and wisdom in the words of others who are in a similar circumstance. I look forward to following you regularly, and wish you and your mom the best in the journey.

  12. Hi,
    Thanks so much for checking out and following my blog. I have spent the last hour reading through yours and it is wonderful and soo helpful. Based on one of your posts, I just ordered my dad some new puzzles! I love the very real way you write about your life with your mom. You are a wonderful daughter and take such good care of her. I really admire what you’re doing and I love the way you approach the blog and the tone you set. I can’t wait to read your next post!

  13. Your blog is really amazing. So glad I found it!

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